nut hugger
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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