DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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