we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
