Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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