Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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