we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
