dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
