and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
