I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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