I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
