I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
