Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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