Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
