she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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