the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
