In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I supernannyed him into submission
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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