I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Drunk is not a location!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
