You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
