These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize