I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i permit you to call me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
