i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
