I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
