i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
