Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
