Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
