everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
