Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
