I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this beer tastes like vomit already
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
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I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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