I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
