Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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