Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
