Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Alive.
So much puke
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
