I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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