i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
