He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize