apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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