the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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