It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
