is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
