PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
