I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
