do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
