i think my mom watched the whole time
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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