doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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