Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
