My friends, they love my intelligence
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
porn star boner night. come get it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
