I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
These tits shall not be calmed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
