i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
