just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
