matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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