I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
