I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize