I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
