It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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