I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize