Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
