The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.