She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
