We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
