from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
