Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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