Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
